Lord of the rings

I'm off to the winter Olympics.   And the summer Olympics.  Thankfully they're happening at the same time in Vancouver, right now.  I might be a bit late to the party though.  I decided two days ago I was going.  The fact that the opening ceremonies happened more than two days ago doesn't seem to be holding me back.  I'm all over it.  Clearly I'm too late to get a press pass, so I'm going to fake it as best I can.  Soon as I get there and see what a legit pass looks like, I'm going to make a cheap knockoff, complete with spelling errors.  Spelling errors keep me away from copyright jail.  All I need is something around my neck that makes me look important.  Nobody questions a lanyard.  I just need something that lets people know I'm an actual photographer, and not a creepy lurker who's taking close-ups of things they shouldn't. 


Too bad I can't shoot any athletes.  <s>Freeze my as</s> sit still in a 2 foot square for hours on end in the winter?  Sure!  Get the exact same angle with the exact same equipment as the guys to my left and right?  Sounds like heaven.
No thanks.  I'm going to experience the Olympics in my hometown, with a hopeful side order of some portfolio, or at least fun personal shooting.